There are many ways to inflict pain, for example by spanking, pinching (clamps), burning, stabbing or electricity. Here we will look at the most common type of play, spanking, which has found its way into the sexual lives of many through the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey”, as well as nipple pinching. The pain can be so intense that the participants enter a state of intoxication or trance, which is referred to as “flying”, see also BDSM. More on this under the flying lesson.
Erotic spanking is a typical element of BDSM, but can also be an interesting change for couples who prefer more classic sex (and of course for everyone else who isn’t necessarily that into bondage and the like). The basic idea of spanking is that one sex partner spanks or “slaps” the other, preferably on the bottom.
Spanking can actually increase the intensity of the orgasm. The blows to the buttocks stimulate blood circulation and release endorphins, which increases arousal.
Brigitte
Sexual spanking is explained here for both sides, i.e. the performer (active) and the recipient (passive).
This article explains it wonderfully: https://love.menshealth.de/sex/bdsm-fuer-anfaenger/.
There is also a guide for newcomers and those interested here: “BDSM for beginners“.
An excerpt from the article:
BDSM is currently on everyone’s lips. Even many women are publicly acknowledging their desire for the harder stuff …..
A BDSM expert says: “Every woman should try BDSM. Once she’s tried it, she’ll want to do it again.” …..
A study by Tilburg University confirms that BDSM devotees are not ill. The results even indicate that followers of the hard way are healthier, more mentally stable and happier in their relationships.
44% of men and 24% of women stated that they find spanking during sex exciting. However, it usually remains a fantasy: according to a survey conducted by the Forsa Institute for the magazine “Stern”, only 15% of Germans have ever tried BDSM.
Men’sHealth
The “harder way” (SM) has also found its way into sexual spanking. It is often the opportunity to “let yourself go” in order to experience sex and your own satisfaction much more intensely or to reach orgasm in this way. For some, the absolute thrill is the loss of control, which can be experienced very intensely. This loss of control can also be experienced by people who are not at all into spanking or pain.
The punishing spanking BDSM (flagellation)
is similar in execution to sexual spanking, but the underlying idea is that the submissive is being punished through chastisement. A harder approach is preferred here, so that the bottom is usually nicely marked afterwards. Marks such as welts are usually desirable and can hardly be avoided. Since the marks on the bottom vary greatly, you can find more information here.
The reason for this need for punishment is often laid in childhood. The submissive then usually perceives corporal punishment as a substitute for attention and affection.
According to the latest findings, there may be a connection here with people’s willingness to take risks, which is probably genetically determined and then shaped by external influences. In this context, there are interesting studies on the topics of “sensation seeking” and “sexual sensation seeking”. – Facets of personality and sexual risk behavior
If you compare the DNA of two people, over 99 percent of the genetic material is identical, while less than one percent varies. These differences are known as genetic variants and are responsible for the individual characteristics of each person.
Science Information Service
I’ll beat the living daylights out of you
Statements such as ‘I’ll beat you black and blue’ or ‘I’ll beat you so badly you won’t be able to sit down for a week’ are familiar to many. In their defencelessness, they were beaten with all kinds of household objects and canes. The statement ‘If you love your child, you discipline them’ can also lead to this desire. This is especially true if you grow up in a home where beatings are completely normal and you are not beaten like everyone else.
The conclusion for young people, ‘They didn’t beat me, so they didn’t love me?’ could then lead to them provocatively seeking to get a beating.
Ultimately, however, there are probably many reasons or none that one feels pleasure in pain. And not only on the buttocks but also, as is now the case with many passive people, in other areas such as the breasts, between the legs or simply on the back.
Even asexual encounters with punishment have an incredible appeal before and after. Especially when you collect punishments in a kind of role play, it can be totally arousing in the time beforehand, some people also get off on it when they are triggered by fear (fear play). And afterwards, for example, when the butt hurts for a long time while sitting, which is very arousing for a large number of passives afterwards. This results in lasting total relaxation and total satiety even without sex.
We don’t want to list all types of spanking here, there is enough reading on the Internet, such as the BDSM Lexicon.
Age Play
Worth mentioning is the so-called Age Play where the Sub slips into the role of his earlier times. This is made possible by the “suspension of disbelief” which allows the sub to slip into a younger role in the game. In addition to punishment for educational reasons, humiliation and the sub’s shame in his role are often played with here.
This often includes the desire to be totally at the mercy of others or to completely relinquish control. Something that is very common in the most diverse areas of BDSM. Here there is often a need to be able to let go, even with otherwise very dominant people. This is perhaps due to the fact that you can’t give yourself otherwise and therefore sexual fulfillment, of whatever kind, may be more difficult. See also above under sexual spanking.
The whole thing is therefore often practiced by dominas and doms in many different ways.
The nipple pinch (nipples)
This is a very interesting thing that particularly appeals to more dominant women in men. It is astonishing how quickly some women try to pinch the nipples. As soon as you allow it or they notice that it arouses you. Of course, aids such as clamps etc. are also possible. The fact is that there is a direct connection between the nipples and the pleasure centre – in both men and women.
Nipple torture is one of the BDSM practices and can be carried out in different ways. What begins with light caresses of the erogenous zone can become a playful form of torture. It is therefore not only very popular with full-blooded BDSM practitioners. It is also ideal for beginners and handling the nipples is part of every active person’s repertoire. It can be used on men and women, although it is often much more intense for female subs.
BDSM library
Many people never fulfil their needs throughout their entire lives out of fear, even though it only takes a small step. There are plenty of professional dominatrixes who can help you safely gain your first experiences. Being able to talk about your fantasies and desires opens you up completely. You feel liberated and actually much happier. It’s amazing that people usually react positively as soon as you open up. Many are happy for you because they notice that you have changed for the better.