Pain can be inflicted in many ways, such as by hitting (spanking), pinching (clamps), burning, stabbing and so on. We deal here with the most common type of play the beating also called spanking, which has found its way into the sexual life of many through the film “Fifty Shades Of Grey” and the nipple pinching. The preparation of pain can go so far that the participants come into something like a frenzy / trance state, the so-called “flying”. More about this under the Flying lesson.

Erotic spanking is a typical element of BDSM, but it can also be an interesting change for flower sex couples (and of course for all others who don’t necessarily have much to do with bondage and the like). The basic idea of spanking: one of the sex partners spanks or “slaps” the other, preferably on the butt

In fact, spanking can even increase the intensity of the orgasm: The blows on the buttocks stimulate blood circulation and release endorphins so that arousal is increased.


The sexual spanking is here for both sides, the performer (sadist) and the recipient (masochist).
wonderfully explained in this article: https://www.menshealth.de/sex/bdsm-fuer-anfaenger/
There is also a guide for newcomers and those interested “ BDSM for beginners

An excerpt from the article:

BDSM currently in everyone’s mouth and even many women publicly profess their desire for the harder pace …..

A BDSM expert says: “Every woman should try BDSM. If she did it, she wants to do it again.” …..

A study by Tilburg University confirms that BDSM’ers are not sick. On the contrary: the results indicate that the hard-core supporters are healthier, more mentally stable and happier in their relationship.

44% of men and 24% of women disclosed that they found spanking exciting during sex. However, it usually remains a fantasy: according to a survey by the Forsa Institute for “Stern” magazine, only 15% of Germans have ever tried BDSM.


The “hard way” (SM) has also found its way into sexual spanking. It is often the possibility of “letting yourself go” in order to experience sex and your own satisfaction much more intensely or to reach orgasm in this way. For some, the absolute thrill is the loss of control, which can be very ultimate. This loss of control is something that even people who are not at all into spanking or pain would like to experience.

The punishing spanking (flagellation)

is in the execution like the sexual spanking, but has the background that the submissive is punished by chastisement. A harder gait is usually preferred here, so that the bottom is usually nicely marked afterwards. Marks such as welts are generally desirable and can hardly be avoided. As the traces of the bottom are very different, you can find out more here.

The reason for this need for punishment is often laid in childhood. The submissive then usually perceives the spanking as a substitute for attention and affection.

Earlier statements such as“I’ll beat the living daylights out of you” or“I’ll beat the living daylights out of you so that you won’t be able to sit down for a week” are familiar to many. When he was defenceless, he was beaten with all kinds of household objects and canes.
The statement“He who loves his child chastises it” can also lead to this desire if you grow up in such a way that the domestic butt-full was completely normal and you, like everyone else around you, are not chastised. The consequence for the young person“They didn’t beat me, so they didn’t love me?” could then lead to a provocative spanking.

Ultimately, however, there are probably many reasons or none that one feels pleasure in pain. And not only on the buttocks but also, for a large number of women, in other areas such as the breasts, between the legs or simply on the back. Even asexual meetings with chastisement have an incredible appeal before and after. Especially when you collect punishments in a kind of role play, it can be totally arousing in the time leading up to it, some people also get a kick out of it when they are triggered by fear (fear play). And afterwards, for example, when your butt hurts for a long time when you sit down, which excites a lot of women afterwards. This results in lasting total relaxation and total satiety without sex.

It also includes the desire to be totally at the mercy of the other person or to completely relinquish control, something that is very common in the most diverse areas of BDSM. Here there is often a need to be able to let go, even with otherwise very dominant people. This is perhaps due to the fact that you can’t give yourself otherwise and therefore sexual fulfillment, of whatever kind, may be more difficult. See also above under sexual spanking.
The whole thing is therefore practiced by dominatrices and doms in many different ways.

The nipple pinch (nipples)

It’s a very interesting thing that also attracts more dominant women to men. It is amazing how quickly some women try to pinch the nipples, as soon as you allow it or realize that it excites you, aids such as clamps etc. are of course also possible. The fact is that there is a direct connection from the nipples, in both men and women, to the pleasure center.

Nipple torture is one of the BDSM practices that can be done in different ways. What starts with light caresses of the erogenous zone turns into a playful kind of torture. Therefore, it is very popular not only with full-blooded BDSM’lern. It is also ideal for beginners and dealing with the nipples is part of the repertoire of every Dom. It is applicable to both men and women, although it is often much more intense for female subs.

BDSM library

Unfortunately, many do not live out these needs, out of fear, their entire lives. It is only a small step because there are enough professional dominants where you can safely make your first experiences. Once you can talk to someone about your fantasies and desires, it opens you up completely and you are liberated and actually much happier. The amazing thing is that when you talk about it with friends or family, it is usually received positively. Many are happy for you because they realize that you have changed for the better.