Flying lesson (BDSM)

In the past, flying like a bird was the great dream of mankind.
Today the term flying is also a euphemism for subspace and a goal or dream to achieve in the BDSM field. It is also often felt as the orgasm in the head.

NOTE: Like everything in the field of fetish, everything is to be seen very individually. One feels pain more than the other and even for some, the sensations depend on the shape of the day. Therefore, this contribution can only be seen as the experience of some. For our tips on how to implement something, we assume no liability, this is done solely at your own risk.

Flying is letting go and then drifting on the sub side, although the feelings among subs are quite different in this. It is about a change of consciousness in BDSM which can be compared with an intoxication / trance and e.g. in the area of SM leads to the fact that no pain, despite violent chastisement, is felt anymore. This quite ecstatic state can be attained by physical chastisement (SM), the going up in a submissive role (DS) or also by fixations (bondage). Through practice or experience on both sides (Dom and Sub), this state can be made faster, longer or even more intense.

Drei Studien über das Fliegen (Illinois State University)

This field is not yet well researched, but there are at least three studies that look at the physical (and psychological) effects of BDSM practices and they all conclude that cortisol (a “stress hormone”) seems to play an important role here. And if they were women, elevated testosterone levels were also found. Furthermore, both partners usually showed a stronger emotional bond with their (play) partners afterwards.

Betrachtungen aus dem Internet dazu

This condition is caused by our hormones. Because to create a trance-like space in our own head, our body needs not only endorphins. The release of the body’s own cannabinoids is also necessary. In addition, the neurotransmitter dopamine, which influences our reward center, plays a crucial role.

The sensations and the immersion into the subspace (flying) are very individual and therefore also often difficult for the performer (Dom) to recognize when the receiver (Sub) is flying. This is extremely important because the wrong continuation of the sub can also crash, which is already quite unpleasant with airplanes.


How do I make my partner fly?

Of course, this is again very individual, therefore here only from my own experience:

1. start hitting your partner slowly and not very hard. For the first few times, it’s best to pick an instrument your partner likes, some like wider instruments and others prefer thinner instruments. Some doms prefer the thinner ones because they immediately burn beautiful welts into the butt of the opposite and it is also about mutual pleasure. However, the choice of the instrument of chastisement does not matter in the future.

2. increase the intensity of the strokes and, if you like, the tempo.

3. at some point you realize that your partner can not be hit harder or he suddenly shows no reaction to the blows, because he no longer feels pain. That means now he is in subspace (flying). It is better if the partner tells you beforehand how he will react when he flies.

4. ATTENTION now you must not change the intensity, the tempo of the strokes or theinstrument, otherwise your partner *could fall off. Just keep hitting like that and you’ll keep your partner in the beautiful state of flying.

If you keep hitting with the same intensity, tempo and instrument, your partner will stay in subspace and be in a frenzy.

6. to bring your partner back, slowly reduce the hardness and possibly the speed of the strokes until you reach zero.

7. take care of your partner by tenderly caressing the beaten body parts and also caressing his body itself. Give him a hug and comfort him or tell him how proud you are of him.

The interesting thing is that if you start playing again after some time, your partner may fly again very quickly.

* Crashing is the abrupt leaving, by external circumstances, of the subspace. This is very unpleasant and can even in rare cases, in the absence of aftercare, i.e. picking up the fallen, lead to trauma. Avoid this and find out about Aftercare beforehand.


Is the dome only an executor or service provider?

No also the Dom can fly in such a session. But it seems that this is conditioned by his point of view when hitting the partner. One approach to this is when the Dom beats the sub without restraint, which does not mean that he loses control, but rather that the sub feels his excitement and thus the sub is even more excited, which in turn …!

Here again the principle of reaction takes effect, only a reaction of the partner triggers something in you with which the excitement increases immeasurably and therefore makes it possible to move boundaries.

Betrachtungen einer erfahrenen Domina zu dem Thema

You can only beat without restraint if you no longer see the sub as a partner, being, lover or anything else. If you can control that is very good for SM.